We set off trying to get ahead of all the other day trippers as we race over the water for about ten minutes to our next stop on Tup Island, which is actually two connecting little outcrops called Talay Waek which we can walk between at this time of day as it’s still low tide here. More boats pull up here too including two featuring excitable school children from a Muslim school, one full of boys and the other full of girls. They all splash around having great fun, with the boys spending more time swimming and the girls more interested in taking selfies in big groups. 

With the mid-afternoon sun blazing down we stop at the Blue Lotus Bar for a refreshing beer and to people watch the tourist parade in front of us. The bar leads to an alley called Freedom featuring such dens of iniquity as Sin City, Tipsy Bar, Stunning Lady Bar, Bachelor Bar, Bangla Sexy 9 and more, all currently empty and waiting for night-time to spring into life. There’s also a nightly lady-boy cabaret, with a dodgy looking poster advertising its attractions, but who are we to judge… we’re on our way to Simon Cabaret, the most extravagant transgender cabaret show in Phuket. 

As we’ve learned many times, first impressions are often wrong and the next morning as we wander along the curving sands of Kamala Beach we start to get seduced by the tropical vibes of the place. There are coconut trees and little market stalls, aquamarine seas and beach-shack bars, alongside the rows of sun loungers and parasols. It’s not a bad spot to spend a few days especially as it is very hot and humid, and we finally start to chill out and relax.

Chiang Rai is the gateway to Thailand’s far northern regions, and is a place of ethnic differences, border crossings, tea plantations and was, for many years, at the heart of the global opium trade. Vast fields of poppies used to be grown here alongside the tea bushes, and displaced peoples from Burma and China settled here over centuries when borders were more porous. 

Set in immaculate grounds the glittering, porcelain like structure is amongst the most ornately decorated buildings we’ve ever seen. It’s genuinely astonishing from the outside, and we walk across the dramatic bridge, over outstretched arms of yearning souls trapped in a hellish underworld, to enter the dazzlingly painted inner sanctum. Half Buddhist temple and half pop-culture mural experience the interior is covered everywhere we look with incredible artworks. 

We walk with them, ever mindful of the enormous power of these majestic animals and slowly progress through winding, well-trodden paths to the river. Mama Noi, the biggest of the three, stops frequently to graze on vegetation but eventually we make it to the water and walk with them for quite some way until they stop in deeper water and start to wash themselves. The mahouts get in the water with them and using buckets help throw water over them to cool them down, and we also take turns to throw water for them from a safe distance too. 

As we climb up the road, we pass barefoot monks carrying alms bowls making their daily dawn pilgrimage up to the temple, and as the sun rises we pull over next to a rather gaudy Buddhist shrine that looks more like an amusement arcade. There we, along with locals and a few other tourists, purchase pre-prepared food baskets and as some young monks walk past us we hand the food over, in respectful silence, and they issue us a blessing of thanks. It’s become quite an industry. 

We make offerings of flowers and incense to the spirit house outside and have a ceremony inside where we chew fermented tea with salt. We also try  ‘mak’ which is a mixture of betelnut, tree bark and sap from an opium plant, wrapped in a pann leaf, and is a mild narcotic that the older generation chew. It tastes like antiseptic and numbs the mouth like novocaine, so was also used for dental pain in the past. We spit it out into the spittoon Joh passes round and then have to drink plenty of water to get rid of the taste. 

It’s another early start today and we are on the road by 8am, driving north through beautiful plains full of rice fields, lotus flowers and watermelons illuminated by the morning sun. We are heading to Si Satchanali, the ancient City of Good People, which was a sister site to Sukothai, and governed by the same royal dynasty. 

The next morning we rent bikes from opposite the entrance to Sukothai Historical Park, and Toto leads us around the huge Unesco World Heritage site, deemed to be one of the top five destinations in Southeast Asia, alongside Angkor Wat. It’s remarkably peaceful with far fewer crowds than Ayutthaya and cycling around the beautiful grounds is a magnificent way to spend the morning. 

Our destination is Ayutthaya, the ancient capital of Siam for 417 years (1350-1767 A.D.) and one of the most important trading centres in the whole of Southeast Asia, where the Siamese, Chinese and Japanese traded with the Portugese, Dutch, French and English. As a result the Kingdom of Ayutthaya became fabulously wealthy, and Buddhist art flourished at the royal court.

Erawan means Heaven and within the park are seven waterfalls that create a winding and beautiful stairway to celestial paradise. Or they would if they were not absolutely rammed with locals, holidaymakers and tourists all taking advantage of New Year’s Eve for a day out. But apparently today’s crowds are nothing compared to yesterday when vehicles were queuing back to the main road just to enter the park. 

After 45 minutes or so we get to Thamkrasae station in Wang Pho, where hoards of new tourists jump on board, riding the next short distance for its amazing views of the River Kwai, and experiencing the rickety nature of the notorious stretch known as the Death Railway. The track snakes along the hillside river bank, with death-defying sections constructed of struts and wooden stilts still in place from the efforts of the poor, brave souls who endured unspeakable cruelty and deprivation during their captivity in WWII. 

We pay our entrance fee and start to climb the 300 steps, passing little shrines and statues as we go. Every so often there are gongs and prayer bells for us to chime, which we do enthusiastically, until we reach the main hall, and its array of Buddha statues in vibrant colours. In a far corner is a narrow doorway with a winding stair that leads to the summit, affording 360 degree views of the city below. 

The main thoroughfare of Thanon Yaowarat is hectic and heaving, a sensory overload of sights and smells, people and noise, and Toto fights his way through the crowd, passing endless street stalls selling all kinds of goods and exotic foods. Eventually we turn off the main drag to a side street and get a seat at a little restaurant called Tontomrub where we eat pad thai and stir fried tofu with bean sprouts, washed down with cold cans of Chang beer. 

It’s not every morning you watch a dragon walk slowly past whilst you eat breakfast, but it’s not a jet lag induced hallucination as I tuck into my passion fruit and papaya. It’s a large lizard, tongue flicking the air, marching along the side of the pool at our little boutique hotel, Ariyasom Villa, in the Sukhumvit 1 area of Bangkok.