It’s 9am on day three of the retreat as we all pile into a minibus. Alison has arranged for a day-long sailing tour of the island, but after high winds in Santorini turned a previous sailing tour into a terrifying, death-defying, white-knuckle experience, Coman is adamant that we’re never doing anything like it ever again.
And when the minibus pulls up at the harbour and a small fishing boat with no seats or life-jackets, but a whole heap of still-wet fishing nets, is declared to be the vessel for the ladies’ adventure rather than a pleasure-cruising yacht, we’re even more certain we made the right choice. Partly due to its orange colour I hear the description “Easy Jet” muttered in alarm… and it turns out the trip ended with various bouts of seasickness and some measure of regret.
Zakynthos Town harbour
We’ve decided on a far safer day out altogether, exploring Zakynthos Town on foot, presuming it may have rather more cultural offerings than Tsilivi. So we wave goodbye to the ladies, and cross the promenade, to the Church of Agios Dionysios, an ornate Orthodox Church in which an ancient priest in a wheelchair gazes silently out to sea while whispering tourists wonder if they can sneak a photo of the painted ceilings and gold-plated altar.
We continue along the pedestrianised street of Alexandrou Roma, a pretty strip of bars, coffee-shops and souvenir emporiums, stopping at one haberdashers, which has been a family business for over 70 years, and buy yet another cushion cover to add to our Greek collection, and then turn up towards the cliff top castle above us.
Cafe on Alexandrou Roma
It’s a fairly steep road that leads up to the ruins and as we climb we pass an intriguing building, behind which seems to be some form of amphitheatre. There’s no gates barring entry so we wander in and discover Zakynthos’ modern open air theatre. Coman walks into the stands and ascends high above the stage while I take prime position to declaim to an imaginary crowd. The acoustics are phenomenal with perfect natural amplification from the central point at the front of the stage.
After another 25 hot minutes ascent we come to Zakynthos castle, a ruined fortress perched above the town, with spectacular panoramic views. Originally constructed during the 17th century by the Venetians, with remnants of their garrison and prison cells, it also contains a ruined 13th century church, barracks from the 19th century British occupation and both German and British fortifications from the Second World War. Most pleasingly though, it has a huge forest of conifers that provide welcome cool shade from the blazing sun.
Zakynthos Castle
We finish with an iced coffee at a little cafe by a church outside the walls, where the waitress reveals there’s a secret, locals-only, route down the wooded hillside which takes about seven minutes to return to the town. We weave our way down the pine-strewn path and sure enough re-enter the town in just a few minutes.
A little further on lies the Basilica of Saint Nicolas, which serves as the cathedral for the whole island. Rebuilt after the 1953 earthquake that devastated neighbouring Kefalonia, it’s a modern interpretation of the older church and we are given candles by the attendant to encourage us to pray. Not much further on, by the port’s pier where we first arrived a few days ago, there’s a smaller chapel to St Nicolas of Molos, which dates from 1560 and although damaged in the earthquake, still contains ancient frescos which are zealously guarded by an old lady who strictly enforces the no photo rule.
Outside Zakynthos Museum
We take lunch on the rooftop of the Strada Marina hotel looking out at the port. At the table next to us are a quartet of middle aged American women, already a number of Aperol Spritz’s in, talking about how much they fancy Harry Styles. “Oh my God, he’s like a young Mick Jagger,” says one. “He’s androgynous like Bowie”
“He’s just so hot on the cover of Vogue. Did you see him in that feather boa? He totally gave me an orgasm,” exclaims another, who is patently old enough to be his grandmother.
Not quite what we were expecting over a Greek salad and a (very) basic pizza. We head back to our retreat and have a swim in the sea to restore our spirits…
